Other Tips to a more Heathier Relationship

1.            Start Over
When couples first get together, everything is new and exciting.  They overlook the little annoying things the other person does.  However, after time, the nagging starts, instead of hearing, “You look beautiful,” they might hear “Why are you wearing that shirt?”

If this sounds like your relationship, first, the two of you need to sit down and be honest that things have changed.  Identify the things each other did in the beginning of the relationship that created the attraction in the first place.  Then together, make a commitment to start over.  The truth is, both of you will have to work on this.  It will not automatically be easy but it is possible.  Start by forgiving each other, forgetting the past, and then start over with the flirtation.  Focus only on the special things your mate does and relearn to put the unimportant things aside.  It will take some time so be patient.
 

2.            Schedule Time
Spending quality time together is crucial.  This time can be with friends, dining out, attending a sporting event, or cuddling together while watching a favorite movie.  The activity is not what is important but the fact that you are together, doing something that you both enjoy.  People have extremely busy schedules and between work, family, the home, errands, and everything else going on, finding time for your mate can be difficult.  Just as you would schedule a meeting on your calendar, show some courtesy in the relationship by scheduling time with each other.  Once the plan is in place, no backing out unless you have some life and death emergency.
 

3.            The Power of Touch
When a child is ill, doctors will tell you that it is proven that a simple, loving touch of a parent can quickly pull the child through a crisis.  It is the same for relationships.  Playing with your mate’s hair, rubbing their hand, a soft kiss on the neck, a soft pat on the leg or giving a gentle back rub will make a huge difference in how your mate responds to you.  When was the last time you walked up to your mate for no reason and without saying a word, affectionately placed a kiss on their neck?  This is not in a sexual way, but an affectionate way.  There is a difference.  The next time the two of you are sitting in the car, at the grocery story, or standing in line at the theater, quietly reach over and take their hand.  Do not be surprised if you get a strange look of curiosity the first time!
 

4.            Surprise
If you and your mate have scheduled some time for a Friday night dinner, put together a surprise instead.  For example, if your mate loves professional wrestling, buy some tickets near the front or if they like concerts, purchase the tickets ahead of time, getting the best seats possible.  When Friday night comes around, insist on driving and head toward the location where the event is taking place.  When asked where you are going, simply answer, “I have a surprise for you.  I know you love professional wrestling so I purchased two great seats for tonight’s performance,” or “I know we had planned on going to dinner, but I wanted to surprise you with something special.  I purchased tickets to see one of your favorite groups in concert.”  The idea of you getting the tickets for something THEY like and then keeping it as a special surprise will touch the heart!
 

5.            Needed Space
As important as it is to spend quality time together, it is equally important to give each other time to do something they like.  If your mate loves to fish but you have no desire to bait a hook with little, slimy worms, or if you like to go to the casino but your mate would rather do something different, encourage each other to take time apart.  Try establishing a set time for this very purpose, if possible.  For example, perhaps you could determine that every other Friday night is “singles” night.  This is not a time to date other people, but to enjoy preferred activities.  Remember that you have to place trust in your relationship.  If you try this and then drill them, to see what they did, whom they were with, and where they went, then the exercise has failed.
 

6.            No Debates
If you know that you and your mate have proven differences in opinion on certain subjects, avoid those subjects.  As an example, if you are a Republican and your mate is a Democrat, politics should probably be avoided.  As the two of you identify new topics that could cause a debate session, stop the conversation before it even gets started.
 

7.            Filler Talk
If you are married, especially with children, break out of the habit of talking about nothing.  Many times, families will be sitting around the dinner table and the conversation consists of, “Do you like your carrots?”, or “I wonder what is on TV tonight?”  Instead, change your strategy to include real questions, showing real interest.  Replace the normal, “Did you have a good day at work?” with “Tell me what you did at work today.”  Even if you do not understand everything being said, listen with interest.  It is not that you are so much interested in the work, but your mate’s life. Maybe an android phone is a good way to talk to your partner.
 

8.            Re-establish Old Traditions
If you and your mate had a tradition of some kind when you first got together, dust it off and breathe life back into it.  Perhaps you met after work on Friday at the local pub for a drink, washed your cars together every Saturday morning, or attended church together on Sunday.  Whatever it was, re-establish the tradition.
 

9.            Predictability
If asking couples the factors involved in the demise of their relationship, one of the common responses is that everything in the relationship is so predictable.  When rebuilding a relationship, do not be afraid of letting go of boredom.  If you normally hate the fact that Saturday afternoons consist of your mate sitting for hours watching football, fix some finger sandwiches and something cool to drink and go join them on the couch, or if your mate spends hours in the garden trying to make things look perfect, surprise them with a new flowering plant, and then help to plant it.  When taking a walk with your mate, stop and give them a soft kiss, say, “I love you,” and then keep walking.  Take some chances and do the unexpected.

10.       Lighten Up Often when couples have gone through or are going through some bumpy spots in their relationship, things tend to get serious.  It could be that there is a tremendous amount of tension or perhaps they are not sure what to say.  Regardless of the reason, learn to lighten up.  Do not take every comment, glance, or movement as a serious problem.  If your mate makes a mistake, which you both will, let it go, or if appropriate, laugh about it.  If you make a mistake, do not be afraid to poke fun at yourself.  This will automatically start the process of tension breaking.   11.       Communicate When couples are having problems in a relationship, communication is the first thing to stop.  It is often easier to just be quiet than to get mad.  When rebuilding relationships, just as communication was the first to stop, it now needs to be the first to start.  This will require that both individuals let down their guard and pretty much throw caution to the wind.  Healing in the relationship cannot start until you talk.  Make an agreement that you will talk about anything and everything and that you will listen, really listen.  That does not mean that you will agree with everything, which is perfectly fine.  However, if you do not agree, do not yell, rather, the two of you need to calmly discuss the issue and together, work out a solution.  This is hard work but within a very short time, you will both feel much better, individually and as a couple.   12.       A Night of Passion Intimacy and passion in relationships is not only important but also healthy.  Couples need to enjoy being together in an intimate way.  When relationships are troubled, the last thing either person wants is to be sexual or passionate with each other.  However, this is a part of the healing and rebuilding of the relationship and although it might be awkward in the beginning, it is crucial.  Make your intimate time together special.  Surprise your mate with a warm bubble bath, lighted candles, soft music, and a bottle of wine, or reserve a nice romantic evening at a local hotel to include a wonderful candlelit dinner, fine wine, and a beautiful room.

13.       Dinner Party Start a new tradition of hosting a dinner party every other month or two and inviting several of you and your mate’s friends.  Set up board games that everyone will enjoy, have some light and lively music playing, and plan to have a blast.  Spending time with friends in this kind of setting is a great way to reduce stress.  When stress is low, couples get along better.  This is a wonderful way to interact with each other’s friends as a couple.   14.       Happy Birthday As people grow older, in general, birthdays become less celebrated.  Gifts are quickly given, meals eaten, and it is over.  For your mate’s next birthday, take some time to plan something very special.  Make this a true celebration of their life as a way of showing your love and appreciation.  Every person, even adults, like attention and love to be appreciated.  Whether a surprise party or not, your mate will be impressed that you went to all the effort just for them.   15.       Secret Getaway Plan a nice weekend getaway to some place off the beaten track where you can enjoy some privacy.  A quaint cottage or charming bed and breakfast would be ideal choices.  Scout out the area ahead of time and choose a few things that the two of you would like to do in the area but just be sure to leave plenty of time for you to enjoy some alone time.  Order a nice bottle of wine or some hot cappuccino and relax in front of the fire!  Make this a romantic weekend where you can rekindle your love. If you're really adventurous, head off across the world to phuket.   16.       Special Greeting If your mate has to work late and you know he had a bad day, surprise him with a late-night gourmet meal.  When you hear him arrive home, greet him in new, sexy lingerie, a warm kiss, and wonderful hot meal.  After he picks himself up off the floor, he will fall in love with you all over again for this wonderful greeting.  If reversed and the woman is coming home, after giving her a lingering kiss, have her join you in the dining room where the table is set with soft glowing candles and a wonderful meal.  Have an envelope lying by her plate that when opened, she will read, “This certificate is good for one thirty-minute massage after dinner.”  This is how you keep romance alive!   17.       Just Because Give your mate gifts “just because.”  These do not have to be expensive whatsoever.  For example, one woman had a miniature dish collection in her kitchen.  Her husband came home and told her that he had a gift for her.  Holding out her hand, he gently placed in her hand a miniature porcelain cup with her name neatly written in blue ink.  She knew that this cup probably cost no more than $2.00 but the thought that he would take the time to find something she enjoyed, was worth $1 million.  The small gifts packed with thought are far more cherished.   18.       Say it with Words Surprise your mate with little notes found in unexpected places.  If your mate travels for work, place a loving note somewhere in their suitcase.  Perhaps they have a long commute to work.  If so, slip a note saying, “I love you,” in their CD case where you know they will find it.  Another recommendation is sticking a note on the bathroom mirror so this will be the first thing seen in the morning.  Be creative and have some fun with this.   19.       Cuddle Time When couples first start dating, cuddling is usually a part of their everyday existence.  However, as the relationship progresses or after children enter the picture, the cuddling stops.  Take some time just to cuddle.  If your mate is sitting on the couch watching a movie, or laying in bed reading, scoot close and tell them that you just want to cuddle.  This makes both people feel secure and loved.   20.       Breakfast in Bed When was the last time you or your mate were served breakfast in bed?  Never?  On a Saturday or Sunday, when nothing special is planned, get up a little early and fix their favorite breakfast.  Include the morning newspaper as an added bonus.  Although they may be shocked, you can be guaranteed that this gesture of love will be appreciated.   |...More updates coming your way,comment if you find this useful..